blue_bells (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blue_bells) wrote2011-02-01 11:22 pm
blue_bells) wrote2011-02-01 11:22 pm
Castle += How this will end (Ryan/Esposito, PG-13, 1300w)
» Title: How this will end
» Fandom: Castle
» Warnings: Alcohol, mild angst
» Pairing(s)/Characters: Ryan/Esposito, Beckett, Lanie
» Summary: They're at the bar again, the Captain and Beckett have just rolled Castle home, but while Ryan and Esposito shoot the breeze, things turn abruptly, unintentionally, serious.
» A/N: Originally written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
starscythe for Christmas, who asked for something about the boys. Can be read as a sequel to Downhill, but it's not necessary to have read that first.
Esposito’s glass is only a third full when Ryan slides into the barstool beside him.
“So, how are things going with Lanie?” Ryan asks.
Esposito’s calm fractures to a startled frown.
“How do you know about that?”
Ryan smirks and pulls his collar higher with an air of accomplished mystery.
“I have my sources. And I saw you walking in together from lunch the other day – she was smiling like the sun was coming outta your ass.”
Ryan doesn’t understand why Esposito looks sort of… disappointed.
“Oh,” Esposito says, “We’ve been hanging out, but she’s not with me. We’re actually helping each other with some things.”
“Dude, she’s completely in love.”
“Not with me, but she’s got her eye on someone.”
And then it clicks for Ryan.
“You’re her wingman!”
Ryan feels the mood lift when Esposito’s mouth curves in a conspiratorial smirk and he winks at his partner. Ryan laughs, clapping him on the back.
“Nice, bro! She didn’t look torn up about it, so you must be doing something right.”
“She’ll be fine.”
“Dude, you did your job, so why do I get the feeling this isn’t a victory drink?” Ryan looks harder at his friend and wonders if his initial assumption was on the money. “Bro, you in love with Lanie?”
Esposito’s expression twists like he suspects Ryan’s been sniffing the paint of the precinct’s remodelled offices.
“No, man.”
“Okay,” Ryan backs off, but Esposito shoots back the rest of his whiskey and he knows there’s still something Esposito may need to get off his chest. “You want to talk about it?”
Esposito’s staring, slightly unfocused, at the doors of the bar. Ryan follows his gaze as the doors swing shut behind a pair of strangers taking their leave into the night.
The short, empty glass slides across the round table.
“Get me another one?” Esposito asks, voice rough.
Shit, this sounds serious. Ryan takes the glass without hesitation.
“On the rocks?”
Esposito nods without meeting Ryan’s eyes and he’s looking back at those glass doors when Ryan returns with a refill and a drink of his own.
He almost wishes Beckett and Montgomery hadn’t rolled Castle home those five minutes earlier. He has a feeling he might need the back-up, so he got the drink, but he and Esposito were swapping stories and propping each other up before Caste joined their motley crew, so Ryan wasn’t going to flail without his team behind him.
Whatever it was, he could manage it on his own, at least for tonight.
“All right,” Ryan sets Esposito’s drink for him on the coaster, “What’s on your mind, Javi?”
Because this was a conversation between friends, not colleagues.
“How’s it going with Jenny?” Esposito asks him.
That was not the response Ryan had been expecting, but he could understand his friend’s need to lead in with a bit of deflection.
Ryan shrugs, smiling.
“Jenny’s great. We’re driving up next Tuesday to spend Christmas with her family in Minnesota.”
Esposito makes a soft noise of realisation.
“Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Cap’n approved your leave last month.”
“We’re coming back just before new year’s,” Ryan smiles and motions between them, “Hey, if you don’t already have plans, you should join us. It’s just going to be close friends, you know, anyone who’s still in town, just bring a plate of something.”
Esposito’s nodding slowly and Ryan really didn’t think his offer needed that much serious consideration.
“Yeah, I might -- Ma’s also been telling me to come round and it’d be good to see everyone, you know?”
“Of course, man, but if your plans change, the invitation’s still open.”
“Thanks, bro.”
Ryan nods because he thinks if he says ‘sure’ or ‘of course’ one more time it’s going to sound redundant and he doesn’t want Esposito to start feeling awkward.
Although it may be too late for that. Ryan takes a sip of his drink – it’s the same as whatever his partner was drinking and wow, that was strong. He blinks rapidly before Esposito can notice his eyes are watering, but then Esposito just sighs, tight and heavy.
“I’m sorry, man, I can’t talk to you about this,” Esposito finally says.
Ryan blinks. He pushes aside the pang of hurt because this is not about him, this is about Javier, but there’ve been so few things they couldn’t share over the years. He wonders, belatedly, if he’s done something to undermine that trust.
“Man… you can tell me anything, you know I won’t judge,” Ryan tries, but Esposito’s quick to shake his head. “I can keep a secret! Javi, you know me!”
“It’s not fair to put this on you, bro,” Esposito’s fingers tighten around his glass and the involuntary frown, then the scowl, is such a tell it makes Ryan’s chest tight.
“Hey,” Ryan pushes his drink aside and leans in, “Hey. You’re no goddamn burden. You’re my partner and right now you’re freaking me out a little.” He lowers his voice when Esposito finally looks him in the eye, conscious of their law enforcement peers that could overhear. “Are you in trouble?”
Esposito barks a laugh, which would make Ryan feel better if he didn’t know Esposito well enough to catch the bitter edge of it.
“No, man. Nobody’s after me.”
Ryan squints at him, frustration building.
“Then what the hell is it?”
Esposito blinks at him, expression wiped clean.
“It’s you.”
Ryan blinks back.
“What?”
Esposito shakes his head.
“It’s you, man. It’s always been you. I just didn’t figure it out until Lanie pulled the shade up from over my eyes.”
Ryan stares at him, brain scrambling to process and translate because it sounded like… no. Ryan must be misunderstanding.
“Sorry, what? What did I do?”
Esposito stares back at him for a moment until his blank expression melts into realisation, then hurt, then into something cold and carefully controlled. It’s fucking heartwrenching to watch and Ryan knows he’s said the wrong thing.
“Javi, wait, I don’t understand –“
Esposito’s already grabbing his coat from the other stool. He shrugs it off, shaking his head.
“Hey, forget what I said. You didn’t do anything, bro. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Javi—“
In spite of the rising panic in his chest, Ryan’s too slow to climb down from his stool and the doors swing shut behind his partner, quickly swallowed by the night. Ryan stares dumbly, feeling like an ass, though he doesn’t know why and wasn’t that just fucking unfair?
He pulls his cellphone from his inner coat pocket and Beckett answers on the third ring.
“Ryan? I hope you don’t need someone to carry you home because I’m all out of good will for the night.”
She sounds weary, but determined and Ryan instantly calms that little bit at the familiar tone of it.
“Kate, I need Lanie’s number.”
Ryan hardly ever calls her by her given name. There’s a careful pause on the other end.
“Is everything all right? You got a body?”
“I just need her number, it’s important. Can you send me her business card?”
“Sure, right away. Kevin, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
But his voice trembles and they both know it’s a bald-faced lie. They hang up after a tentative goodbye from Kate, he knows she wants to ask more, but Ryan can’t answer what he doesn’t know, so he dials Lanie’s number as soon as his phone beeps in receipt of her business card.
“Parish,” She answers in a sleepy groan.
“Lanie, it’s Ryan,” He breathes, fingers drumming against the tabletop and notes that both glasses are still full, untouched.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you. It’s Javier.”
Lanie chuckles, tiredness gone from her voice.
“Ryan. So, he finally told you."
» Fandom: Castle
» Warnings: Alcohol, mild angst
» Pairing(s)/Characters: Ryan/Esposito, Beckett, Lanie
» Summary: They're at the bar again, the Captain and Beckett have just rolled Castle home, but while Ryan and Esposito shoot the breeze, things turn abruptly, unintentionally, serious.
» A/N: Originally written for
starscythe for Christmas, who asked for something about the boys. Can be read as a sequel to Downhill, but it's not necessary to have read that first.Esposito’s glass is only a third full when Ryan slides into the barstool beside him.
“So, how are things going with Lanie?” Ryan asks.
Esposito’s calm fractures to a startled frown.
“How do you know about that?”
Ryan smirks and pulls his collar higher with an air of accomplished mystery.
“I have my sources. And I saw you walking in together from lunch the other day – she was smiling like the sun was coming outta your ass.”
Ryan doesn’t understand why Esposito looks sort of… disappointed.
“Oh,” Esposito says, “We’ve been hanging out, but she’s not with me. We’re actually helping each other with some things.”
“Dude, she’s completely in love.”
“Not with me, but she’s got her eye on someone.”
And then it clicks for Ryan.
“You’re her wingman!”
Ryan feels the mood lift when Esposito’s mouth curves in a conspiratorial smirk and he winks at his partner. Ryan laughs, clapping him on the back.
“Nice, bro! She didn’t look torn up about it, so you must be doing something right.”
“She’ll be fine.”
“Dude, you did your job, so why do I get the feeling this isn’t a victory drink?” Ryan looks harder at his friend and wonders if his initial assumption was on the money. “Bro, you in love with Lanie?”
Esposito’s expression twists like he suspects Ryan’s been sniffing the paint of the precinct’s remodelled offices.
“No, man.”
“Okay,” Ryan backs off, but Esposito shoots back the rest of his whiskey and he knows there’s still something Esposito may need to get off his chest. “You want to talk about it?”
Esposito’s staring, slightly unfocused, at the doors of the bar. Ryan follows his gaze as the doors swing shut behind a pair of strangers taking their leave into the night.
The short, empty glass slides across the round table.
“Get me another one?” Esposito asks, voice rough.
Shit, this sounds serious. Ryan takes the glass without hesitation.
“On the rocks?”
Esposito nods without meeting Ryan’s eyes and he’s looking back at those glass doors when Ryan returns with a refill and a drink of his own.
He almost wishes Beckett and Montgomery hadn’t rolled Castle home those five minutes earlier. He has a feeling he might need the back-up, so he got the drink, but he and Esposito were swapping stories and propping each other up before Caste joined their motley crew, so Ryan wasn’t going to flail without his team behind him.
Whatever it was, he could manage it on his own, at least for tonight.
“All right,” Ryan sets Esposito’s drink for him on the coaster, “What’s on your mind, Javi?”
Because this was a conversation between friends, not colleagues.
“How’s it going with Jenny?” Esposito asks him.
That was not the response Ryan had been expecting, but he could understand his friend’s need to lead in with a bit of deflection.
Ryan shrugs, smiling.
“Jenny’s great. We’re driving up next Tuesday to spend Christmas with her family in Minnesota.”
Esposito makes a soft noise of realisation.
“Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Cap’n approved your leave last month.”
“We’re coming back just before new year’s,” Ryan smiles and motions between them, “Hey, if you don’t already have plans, you should join us. It’s just going to be close friends, you know, anyone who’s still in town, just bring a plate of something.”
Esposito’s nodding slowly and Ryan really didn’t think his offer needed that much serious consideration.
“Yeah, I might -- Ma’s also been telling me to come round and it’d be good to see everyone, you know?”
“Of course, man, but if your plans change, the invitation’s still open.”
“Thanks, bro.”
Ryan nods because he thinks if he says ‘sure’ or ‘of course’ one more time it’s going to sound redundant and he doesn’t want Esposito to start feeling awkward.
Although it may be too late for that. Ryan takes a sip of his drink – it’s the same as whatever his partner was drinking and wow, that was strong. He blinks rapidly before Esposito can notice his eyes are watering, but then Esposito just sighs, tight and heavy.
“I’m sorry, man, I can’t talk to you about this,” Esposito finally says.
Ryan blinks. He pushes aside the pang of hurt because this is not about him, this is about Javier, but there’ve been so few things they couldn’t share over the years. He wonders, belatedly, if he’s done something to undermine that trust.
“Man… you can tell me anything, you know I won’t judge,” Ryan tries, but Esposito’s quick to shake his head. “I can keep a secret! Javi, you know me!”
“It’s not fair to put this on you, bro,” Esposito’s fingers tighten around his glass and the involuntary frown, then the scowl, is such a tell it makes Ryan’s chest tight.
“Hey,” Ryan pushes his drink aside and leans in, “Hey. You’re no goddamn burden. You’re my partner and right now you’re freaking me out a little.” He lowers his voice when Esposito finally looks him in the eye, conscious of their law enforcement peers that could overhear. “Are you in trouble?”
Esposito barks a laugh, which would make Ryan feel better if he didn’t know Esposito well enough to catch the bitter edge of it.
“No, man. Nobody’s after me.”
Ryan squints at him, frustration building.
“Then what the hell is it?”
Esposito blinks at him, expression wiped clean.
“It’s you.”
Ryan blinks back.
“What?”
Esposito shakes his head.
“It’s you, man. It’s always been you. I just didn’t figure it out until Lanie pulled the shade up from over my eyes.”
Ryan stares at him, brain scrambling to process and translate because it sounded like… no. Ryan must be misunderstanding.
“Sorry, what? What did I do?”
Esposito stares back at him for a moment until his blank expression melts into realisation, then hurt, then into something cold and carefully controlled. It’s fucking heartwrenching to watch and Ryan knows he’s said the wrong thing.
“Javi, wait, I don’t understand –“
Esposito’s already grabbing his coat from the other stool. He shrugs it off, shaking his head.
“Hey, forget what I said. You didn’t do anything, bro. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Javi—“
In spite of the rising panic in his chest, Ryan’s too slow to climb down from his stool and the doors swing shut behind his partner, quickly swallowed by the night. Ryan stares dumbly, feeling like an ass, though he doesn’t know why and wasn’t that just fucking unfair?
He pulls his cellphone from his inner coat pocket and Beckett answers on the third ring.
“Ryan? I hope you don’t need someone to carry you home because I’m all out of good will for the night.”
She sounds weary, but determined and Ryan instantly calms that little bit at the familiar tone of it.
“Kate, I need Lanie’s number.”
Ryan hardly ever calls her by her given name. There’s a careful pause on the other end.
“Is everything all right? You got a body?”
“I just need her number, it’s important. Can you send me her business card?”
“Sure, right away. Kevin, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
But his voice trembles and they both know it’s a bald-faced lie. They hang up after a tentative goodbye from Kate, he knows she wants to ask more, but Ryan can’t answer what he doesn’t know, so he dials Lanie’s number as soon as his phone beeps in receipt of her business card.
“Parish,” She answers in a sleepy groan.
“Lanie, it’s Ryan,” He breathes, fingers drumming against the tabletop and notes that both glasses are still full, untouched.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you. It’s Javier.”
Lanie chuckles, tiredness gone from her voice.
“Ryan. So, he finally told you."