blue_bells: (Castle :: Ryan/Esposito)
blue_bells ([personal profile] blue_bells) wrote2010-03-24 02:09 am

Castle += The Feel Good Drag (Ryan/Esposito, Castle, Beckett, Lanie, G, 720w)

» Title: The Feel Good Drag
» Fandom: Castle
» Warnings: Cross-dressing
» Pairing(s)/Characters: Ryan/Esposito, Castle, Beckett, Lanie
» Summary: To back-up Beckett on a case, Ryan has to go undercover in drag. Of course.
» A/N: Wherein I should really be sleeping, but Ryan cracked me up. Written here for [livejournal.com profile] cedara in [livejournal.com profile] comment_fic.


Beckett was the first to put her hand up, but the Captain wouldn’t clear her to infiltrate a den of drag queens without back-up. It had nothing to do with their lifestyle and everything to do with the homicidal tendencies of beauty pageant contestants.

Ryan was a little offended when they all heard the order and Beckett had looked straight to him.

“… Espo, whatever the Captain orders, don’t let them make me a blonde,” Ryan had muttered.

Esposito looked into his face with surprise and the slow smirk that spread on his lips made Ryan a little nervous for his safety.

Five hours later, Castle, Beckett and Esposito were sprawled in the living room of Lanie’s apartment where they’d converged for a dress rehearsal. Apparently, Lanie was the only woman Ryan trusted not to abuse his sanity or his dignity, but his other three colleagues were getting impatient to see Ryan’s undercover guise.

“I think we could smudge the makeup around your cheekbones some more,” Castle stretched a hand up towards Beckett where she perched on the sofa’s arm beside him.

She slapped his hand away and mussed her hair instead, adjusted the collar of the clothes chosen to accentuate the broader elements of her frame to seem squarer; more boyish.

“C’mon, Ryan, the sign-ups close in less than two hours,” Beckett called and glanced at her watch.

“Aw, honey, I don’t think you’re ready for this,” Lanie called from the bedroom, the smile like a bell in her voice.

Castle slid down the couch to Esposito’s side where the detective had been staring into space, apparently bored with the forgotten National Geographic in his lap. He cleared his throat politely and Esposito laughed under his breath at the intensely serious look on the writer’s face.

“Now, Esposito, when your new partner comes out there’s an etiquette you may be ignorant of when handling the insecure drag –“

“What’s up, bitches?”

Ryan’s smirk was full blown as he strutted into the living room in a close-and-immensely-well-fitted gown of royal blue that ended just above the knee. The matching blue pumps and sleeveless cut highlighted his muscle definition almost too well, but the brown hair extensions Lanie had attached drew out the softer lines of his cheeks, jaw and shoulders.

Ryan spread his arms in expectation and if the look on his face was anything to go by, he seemed pleased with himself.

Beckett whistled loudly in appreciation and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Lanie….”

“Blue for his eyes,” Lanie said, adjusting the fall of hair at Ryan’s shoulders. “It makes ‘em pop.”

“You shaved your legs,” Castle said, surprised, and Ryan made a suspect gesture at Lanie with a pained look.

Beckett stared at Ryan’s heels in disbelief. “Are you going to be able to walk in those?”

“You wish you could walk in these, sister,” Ryan challenged, but Lanie tapped him on the shoulder and waved a finger in warning.

“Walk a mile, Sunshine,” Lanie warned before she headed to the kitchen. “Walk a mile.”

Beckett motioned to the detective at the end of the couch. “Esposito, when Ryan’s begging you to carry him later tonight, tell him to run it off, instead.”

Esposito had stood to look his partner properly up and down. Finally, he had to shrug and nod his approval when Ryan did a turn to demonstrate the full view.

“Well, bro, you look damn better than just an Irish boy in a dress.”

“At least a drag princess?” Ryan smirked and they bumped fists.

“Your walk sucks, though and everybody’s going to be watching your hips.”

“That a fact?” Ryan crossed his arms, cocky; confident.

“You strut like you were at the wrong end of something good last night and that’s just going to give everybody the wrong idea, then I’ll have to come in and get you—“

“Hey, maybe I want to work the suspects?”

“If anybody even gives you their number, you’re outta there, Honey Milk….”

Almost huddled on the couch, Castle and Beckett exchanged a look of bemusement.

“I can’t tell who’s baiting who, but this is so much better than pay-per-view,” Castle confessed, raptly glancing between the detectives as they sparred like a play of tennis.

Beckett hummed with a smile. “My money’s on the Irish boy in a dress.”

[identity profile] nictusa.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
this made me lol so hard.
WIN.
thank you for sharing!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-23 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, thank you! I'll never get to the sexy because these guys keep cracking me up, so I'm glad they could make you smile too! <3

[identity profile] nictusa.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)
That's fine by me. I will take all the lulz i can get :D

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_jessen_/ 2010-03-24 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Ahahaaa, that was hillarious and wonderful. XD
Great job~

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-24 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the sassy detectives!

[identity profile] crawlypie.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! That was absolutely hysterical! The "What's up, bitches?" was my favorite line of all. :)

Thank you for sharing this with us!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-24 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
It's my pleasure, Ryan has so much untapped attitude; I don't think we could contain him (or keep a straight face) once he got rolling. I'm glad you enjoyed! <3

[identity profile] xadie.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha! I love how Castle thinks Ryan's going to be all insecure, and Ryan's like 'what up?' So funny and cute. Now we just need Espo teaching him how to sashay, and he'll be golden ;)

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-25 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaha it'd be funny to see how long Esposito and Ryan would sashay it out before Lanie interrupted to show how it's done. I love the idea that Ryan would have fun with it. I'm happy you enjoyed it!

[identity profile] noctuabunda.livejournal.com 2010-03-27 11:38 am (UTC)(link)
aaawww. very cute.
I loved Ryan as a confident drag queen! And Espo being totally cool with it. <3

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-27 01:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryan could potentially blow the case by having too much fun, but I think Esposito's way of ribbing him would be by trying to build his partner into the best drag that he could be -- and pointing out his failings at every turn.

I'm glad it worked for you, thank you! <3

Dear Castle writers, please make this canon.

[identity profile] prettybird.livejournal.com 2010-03-30 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles* Oh, this is brilliant.

I love those boys so much. :D

Re: Dear Castle writers, please make this canon.

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-03-30 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! The whole troupe are so much fun to write, I'm glad you enjoyed them. <3

And God, if they ever did this in canon, I wouldn't live through it; I'm already overflowing with love for this show.

[identity profile] glam-geek.livejournal.com 2010-07-01 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Love this story so much. Unapologetic drag is so awesome. <3

Also, I enjoyed the "To Wong Foo" references. Made me giggle!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2010-07-02 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
Yay! 'To Wong Foo' ally in geekiness, you are welcome here!

A person should never apologise for being fabulous, but they *are* obliged to share the fab. The idea of Ryan confident, but clueless, amongst potentially homicidal pageant contestants was so funny I only wish I'd had more space to write it.

[identity profile] adja999.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
*wipes tears off face* Oh I wanna see that scene. I wish Kevin was that confident in his good looks and partnership. I bet if this really happened in reality, Ryan would freak. And Espo would possibly have a stroke.

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/ 2011-03-01 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you enjoyed it! [laughs] The strokes and freaking out are entirely possible, I loved the idea that they could get an assignment like this and, as you say, have the confidence to have fun with it.