blue_bells (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blue_bells) wrote2011-04-13 07:37 pm
blue_bells) wrote2011-04-13 07:37 pm
Off Topic += Muse Guilt, Mine and Yours
Despite occasionally empathising with character's plights in fanfic, when was the last time you actually sat back after writing something and thought, "Huh. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I feel... douche-y"?
I don't mean in an intellectual way because you know the difference between right and wrong, because you know that if such-and-such were to happen in real life that it would be reprehensible. Writing and reading is escapism, so the rules are different. I mean that feeling you get when somebody - whose opinion you care about - looks at you like you've betrayed or disappointed them and you didn't see it coming.
I hit 44k on my big bang last night and was left with this feeling. I'm calling it muse guilt. I was so bemused that I had to stop halfway through the afternoon and write to one of my friends about it. Don't worry, this is not actually keeping me up at night, but I wonder what it means that I haven't had this experience writing in the last six months on the myriad of other stories. I know I'm lingering on this a day later because I'm running on two hours of sleep, we've had an abrupt change to colder weather, and I've been living and breathing these characters for over three months.
I know this happens to a lot of people through the course of their writing. It's not quite contrition, but it's still fascinating.
So, when's the last time you had muse guilt? What were you writing at the time?
And since turn about is fair play, here's a meme I ganked from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ravenspear.
The problem with the internet is that we might think we know each other, but there are plenty of things we miss. Here's your chance to ask me anything you want to know. It can be big or little, about the past or opinions or unimportant little extras. Whatever it is, just ask!
I don't mean in an intellectual way because you know the difference between right and wrong, because you know that if such-and-such were to happen in real life that it would be reprehensible. Writing and reading is escapism, so the rules are different. I mean that feeling you get when somebody - whose opinion you care about - looks at you like you've betrayed or disappointed them and you didn't see it coming.
I hit 44k on my big bang last night and was left with this feeling. I'm calling it muse guilt. I was so bemused that I had to stop halfway through the afternoon and write to one of my friends about it. Don't worry, this is not actually keeping me up at night, but I wonder what it means that I haven't had this experience writing in the last six months on the myriad of other stories. I know I'm lingering on this a day later because I'm running on two hours of sleep, we've had an abrupt change to colder weather, and I've been living and breathing these characters for over three months.
I know this happens to a lot of people through the course of their writing. It's not quite contrition, but it's still fascinating.
So, when's the last time you had muse guilt? What were you writing at the time?
And since turn about is fair play, here's a meme I ganked from
ravenspear.The problem with the internet is that we might think we know each other, but there are plenty of things we miss. Here's your chance to ask me anything you want to know. It can be big or little, about the past or opinions or unimportant little extras. Whatever it is, just ask!
no subject
For Pride and Prejudice, I think everyone kind of hates a book they have to study, no matter how awesome it is. Like, I love the Odyssey to death, but I grumble when I have to read a set amount of pages for class. You know what's sad? Other than the books and Scott Pilgrim, I haven't really seen any of these. I do, however, really want to see Sherlock. :D
Favorite books (at the moment):
-I am Mordred by Nancy Springer. It's a retelling of the Arthurian tragedy from Mordred's POV and it's been a while since I've read it, but I think I'll always love this book. Mordred deserves some positive publicity.
-Shadow Magic by Jaida Jones. It's actually part two of a series, but stand-alone. About a flamboyant magician and the grumpy soldier who's terribly annoyed by him, but they both have to work together to stop a war between two nations (the closest I can compare said nations to real places are Japan and Russia, but with fantasy elements).
-Harry Potter by JK Rowling. I throw this in because it was the first book I fell in love with and it still has its place in my heart. Although, now I prefer fandom to canon, when it comes to HP (not a fan of Ginny Weasely).
Movies (these are even more transient than the books):
-Enchanted. I love fairytales so I love parodies like this, with a twist.
-Tangled. Ditto above, I suppose. Disney animated films in general, like Shrek, I admit, make me 'aww' at one point or another.
-Final Fantasy AC. It's really not that great a movie, but I told you I love Final Fantasy, right? And I really did like the introduction of Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz. I'm just sad they died straight away in the movie and I wish they were incorporated in, I don't know, Kingdom Hearts or something. Wouldn't that be amusing? The three men who look like Riku - Sora would be so confused. xD
TV Shows:
-Supernatural. I'm meh about S6, but 1-5 were amazing. I don't think I'll ever stop adoring it. <3
-Criminal Minds. It's better and more original than a lot of procedural crime dramas. I admit that I watch on and off, though.
-Charmed. It's not as polished as SPN and the concept is the opposite, with sisters instead of brothers, but it gives me a lot of the same WAFF. What I don't like about it, I think, is that a lot of scenes are anticlimactic, the special effects look fake, and it went downhill after S6. I do love the glimpses it showed of Chris and Wyatt's brotherly bond when they grew up. I think the Halliwell bros were the Winchesters 1.0 for me. :D
-If I had to pick another one or two, I'd say Merlin, though it has a lot of the same technical issues as Charmed.
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I love Disney films. I don't care that they're unrealistic, dumbed down and and censored, they're trippy, unapologetically upbeat and they have an important place! You have no idea how excited I was when they made Enchanted, I loved Disney for making fun of themselves, but Beauty and the Beast is my favourite.
Advent Children was a dream come true for fans of FFVII. I watched that movie to death when it first came out. And then they released another version. By the third version, though, I was wondering wtf Square Enix was doing, but they were successfully milking people like my sister for every penny of loyalty. XD I haven't seen it in years, I should go back and watch that film, actually.
I think I stopped watching Charmed before we got to see Chris and Wyatt's interaction, but I was following that show for a good number of years. It was a lot of fun. Was Wyatt evil? Was that right?
A lot of my friends are also big on Criminal Minds, I should try this show more thoroughly because I think I would really enjoy it.
Merlin S1 was like crack for me, but then S2 turned a corner I couldn't quite follow and it's coming back to itself now, so I'm interested again, but I feel that it dragged some things out too much and the show lost momentum, e.g. the intrigue with Morgana. I have hope for the next part, though.
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My favorite classic Disney film is probably The Little Mermaid. I loved it as a little girl and I still like it today, but Mulan is also pretty cool. Idk why, but I love singing along to 'I'll make a man out of you'. xDD
I think I count as a true fan of FFVII. I get annoyed whenever I hear people say, 'Oh, I love Cloud/Sephiroth/Zack/etc' and they answer 'I saw him in Kingdom Hearts or Crisis Core' when I ask when they started loving him. Yes, I like those games, but I loved VII when it was a pixelated mess with an amazing plot. I have a copy of AC on blu-ray and I still occasionally bust it out, as well as my PS1 copy of the original game. 8D
In season 6 of Charmed, yeah, it was revealed that Wyatt grew up to be the evil overlord of the world, and his younger brother Chris, who hadn't been born yet, came back to save him from going down that path. They probably could have pulled it off better, but damn, Drew Fuller. <3 Why does my favorite character always have to die? ;_;
I think you'd like CM for sure. The characters elegantly form a family dynamic and it's easy to like them all for one reason or another. <3 As for Merlin, my biggest problem with it is how random and disconnected it is. In one episode, you see Gwen's about to burn at the stake, but by the next she's humming sweet songs and making eyes at Arthur again. Each episode seems almost stand-alone, but I've never stopped loving the budding friendship between Arthur and Merlin, and I'm definitely eager for S4. I just hope they play down the Arthur/Gwen romance a little; it seems to take center-stage a lot now and I kind of liked Gwen with Lance just fine. Also, I'd really like to finally see Arthur finding out about Merlin's magic.
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'The Little Mermaid'! <3 That's probably second favourite of mine and then 'The Princess and the Frog'.
I'll put CM on my to-watch list for sure!
I understand the cringeing reaction to reading your old work, but it also makes me laugh at the same time. I wrote in FF when I was 16/17, so I was in that prime stage of channelling angst that suited FFVIII so well. So much drama! But we all need to start somewhere. :)
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That need you talk about to assign traditional gender roles with familiar male and female qualities was, and still is, actually pretty common among learning writers. I know I did it, too. I was pretty annoyed when I realised, but it's just something that comes with social awareness and maturity. I like men being men, being just who they are, however that is, so it only matters to me that characters preserve their personality in fic.
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