blue_bells: (Supernatural :: BigBang - dark days)
[personal profile] blue_bells
» Title: Somewhere to Begin - Part X (MASTERPOST)
» Author: [livejournal.com profile] _bluebells
» Artist: [livejournal.com profile] chosenfire28
» Beta: [livejournal.com profile] ladyknightanka, [livejournal.com profile] mishaphappens
» Pairing(s)/Character(s): Michael/Adam, Dean/Castiel, Lucifer/Sam/Gabriel, Raphael/Balthazar, Bobby and others
» Warnings: NC-17/R for violence, torture, gore, dub-con, angelcest, language, alcohol, and character death
» Spoilers: All seasons, AU from Season 5 finale
» Summary: Adam Milligan was just another casualty of the engine of the Apocalypse. After Michael breaks them out of the Cage, Adam is accidentally thrown into the future where peace has finally settled by strange circumstances. With his memories sealed to protect his sanity, Adam learns the censored, Apocalypse-free version of the life he's forged with a suite of archangels, a crabby adopted Uncle, and brothers he never knew he had, but this has all happened before and will happen again.

PREVIOUS


"Michael!"

Michael is a street ahead, his hands in his pockets, and he doesn’t slow down. Adam's breath steams in the late hour as he quickens his step to catch-up. He half-expects Michael to break his disguise and fly, but Michael's feet hit the pavement, and he ignores Adam even when he breaks to a walking pace at his shoulder.

"Michael, hold up, I need to talk to you."

"What for? What?" Michael stops and turns on him angrily, his hands falling to clench by his sides. "You asked me to leave, so I left.” He thrusts a hand back in the direction they had come. “This doesn’t change anything. Do you want another apology? I'm sorry. I'm sorry you are who you are and you got mixed up in all of this. I'm sorry you decided to forgive me and I fell for it. I'm staying away. What else do you want me to say?"

"... Nothing. Just, thank you." Adam is stunned, caught off-guard by Michael’s outburst, and he struggles to remember what he had planned to say. "I don't know if those guys already said this, but, thank you. For Dean. I know what it cost you."

Michael’s gaze narrows and Adam has a feeling the angel doesn’t believe him.

"Thank you for my name.”

"Wait, don't --" Adam catches his arm when Michael starts turning away again, "Don't you want to be with your family? I know they want you there. C'mon."

"To be taunted with footage about the life I used to have? Do you think that's fun for me?"

Adam is not doing the best job of this.

"Okay, okay. Look: we don't have to watch them. We don’t even have to go back there. Where do you want to go?"

“We?” Michael stares at him in surprise, realising that Adam's inviting himself along.

Adam nods encouragingly and braces his hands on his hips, hoping that Michael will let him follow and choose somewhere warmer. This street is a wind tunnel and there’s an icy gale blowing right through the thin layers of his clothes.

"You should go back," Michael says.

"Maybe. I'm sticking with you anyway," Adam shrugs, wrapping his arms around himself with a shiver, and an obvious, if delayed, thought occurs to him, "Unless you don't want me here?"

Michael’s face melts to sad confusion and he makes Adam feel three chapters behind, heart beating in the sudden tightness of his throat.

“Adam, you’re the only thing I want. Don’t you -- ?” He stops when his voice cracks, and Adam bites his tongue watching Michael pull himself back under control. “You should go back.”

“… Mike, we’re out of time,” Adam says, finding himself almost short of breath, and it feels as difficult, vulnerable and plain as any confession. He’s shaking when he clutches his arms tighter around himself, and he doesn’t bother lying that it’s just from the cold with the way his heart drums, slow and heavy, against his ribs. “Can we just go somewhere?”

Adam can already see the answer in Michael’s face before the angel starts shaking his head and pushing him away again, though the effort sounds weak.

“Adam—“

“Please?” He steps in closer, buffeting Michael from the wind. He doesn’t miss the way Michael glances down, studying how tightly Adam is bracing himself against the cold.

The wind howls down the long, empty street, glass windows trembling in their panes. A flicker of motion catches Adam’s attention out of the corner of his eye. He watches a dark plastic bag tumble up the line of parked cars, winding itself around the nose and headlight of a deep red convertible before a fresh gust drives it free and up towards the second floor balconies of the neighbouring apartment block.

It’s the coldest hour before dawn and the moment Michael acquiesces comes like a sigh of unhappy defeat. Adam glances from the steel buttons of Michael’s open jacket to the soft scowl of his mouth, and then Michael’s palm is on his neck and it’s warmer than he remembers. Adam closes his eyes with a small shiver of relief after the initial numbness fades and Michael’s heat seeps into his skin, a thumb sweeping across the lock of his jaw and over his ear.

The wind vanishes like a cry cut short and when Adam opens his eyes he’s standing beside the wooden gate of a large, open field.

Michael’s hand falls away and Adam looks at him in surprise.

“I don’t think you’ve been here before,” Michael says, quietly, still watching him.

The air feels warmer when Adam breathes it in. He can smell pine.

“This is the field,” he says, and Michael nods without him needing to elaborate, “I dreamed about this place.”

Michael looks out towards the wide perimeter of the trees and the pine’s familiar peaks. There are no street lights here. The pale, bright glow of the half-moon overhead reveals the fields have been recently harvested. Michael’s gaze flickers from a taller outcrop of trees at the field’s furthest corner and back to Adam, hesitant.

“I want to show you something,” he says.

Adam tucks his hands in his pockets and winds his jacket tight around his torso. There’s a strange intimacy about walking alone with someone under the cover of night and only the crickets around their feet. Michael barely makes a sound as he moves through the short grass and it’s a natural grace Adam has realised the angels share – unless they wanted everyone to know of their impending arrival.

“That’s where Sam and Dean set up our camp the day the war ended.”

Michael points towards the hills at Adam’s left where the fence of wooden logs ran beside the dirt road and a small cluster of pine.

“This is where you almost lost your arm setting off fireworks with Gabriel.”

Adam feels his mouth quirk in a smile for Michael’s tone of gentle exasperation at the memory as they cross the center of the field.

“Raphael and Castiel paced this entire field for two or maybe three hours between those posts.”

Michael gestures from one side of the field to the other and Adam follows his hand, watches his expression turn pensive and nostalgic.

“They never told me what they spoke of, but… even if the peace was uneasy, it lasted. Balthazar and Gabriel must have brought confection from every country on Earth. Lucifer burned sigils at the corners of this field to ward it from attention. Like our house.”

Adam is surprised at how easily Michael can say that. He watches the shadows of Michael’s hair fall across his face. Michael speaks like he has no particular thoughts or feelings about their house, but Adam doesn’t think that’s true. Michael looks like a man standing on the tracks who can’t do anything but stare ahead and face the lights of the oncoming train. Adam should say something, but he hadn’t planned further ahead than his thanks, and then Michael leads them under the shade of the largest pine at the corner of the field.

Michael presses his fingers to the bark.

“Can you see it?” Michael asks him and Adam laughs quietly.

“Um. No.”

“Feel with your hands.”

Adam’s palms press flat to the trunk, but the rough lines all feel the same when he slides his hands across.

“What am I looking for?”

“Here. You carved it.”

Adam looks to the angel when Michael guides his hands further across the bark. He shows Adam where to press his fingers, but Michael only has eyes for the carving that’s too dark for Adam to see.

“What does it say?” Adam asks, a little nervous to know the answer.

“It says ‘Dean + Cas 4 EVA’.”

Adam stares at Michael’s expression of perfect composure and then bursts out laughing. Michael finally looks at him and Adam’s eyes have adjusted enough to the dark to detect the hint of humour lifting the long, smooth lines of his face.

“Dean made you hustle petrol cash for a month,” Michael says, “And this is the spot where you invited me to stay with you.”

The laughter goes right out of Adam with the rest of his air. Michael leans his shoulder against the tree and his hands rest in the pockets of his jacket, watching Adam expectantly.

Adam wonders what the time is.

“I think I kind of like you,” he says.

It’s not perfect, it’s not even that brave, but it’s worth it for the soft smile that crosses Michael’s features.

“And I love you,” Michael says, smooth and matter-of-fact. Adam watches his face while he says it and he can tell that Michael means it this time, he isn’t confused anymore.

“How do you make it sound so easy?” Adam leans beside him on the trunk, too impressed to let the hammer in his chest silence him, and Michael doesn’t even shrug.

“Practice.”

“And is it easy?”

“No,” Michael admits, a smile still on his lips, “But it’s worth it.”

Adam considers that, weighing his next decision in the span it takes him to exhale, close that final step, and Michael’s eyes slide shut when Adam tugs him forward by his jacket, leaning in to kiss him.

He hasn’t kissed Michael since that awful night with the tequila and Hellfire, but he likes to think that time didn’t count because he was under the influence and it wasn’t worth the hurt in Michael’s face that he’s tried to push out of mind.

Michael kisses him slowly without any of the loss Adam had been dreading, sinking hands in Adam’s hair and around his waist. Adam pulls him closer until he can feel Michael’s delicious fever warmth along his entire body, and he’s missed this.

He'd almost forgotten the sure, familiar way Michael held him. Michael lingers anywhere Adam lets him, but he still kisses like he's unsure if he's allowed to be here and he lets Adam lead, sliding hot and wet everywhere Adam asks him to follow.

“Send me back with Cas,” Adam breathes, when Michael lets him surface for air, lips shining with moisture, and he curls his fingers in the short hair at Michael’s nape, leaning against his forehead, “I’ll look out for him. I’ll make sure we get back here.”

“No,” Michael frowns at the creases on Adam’s shirt and his hand tracks possessively up and down his back, “We don’t have the strength and I’m not losing you again.”

Adam swallows the truth, it warms and aches at the same time, cording tight in his chest.

“You said Uriel’s spell was broken. What happens to us if I don’t go back?”

Michael shakes his head with regret and the tension in Adam’s chest knots painfully.

“I don’t know. But I gave Castiel something that will help.”

What if they stayed on opposite sides? What if the war went on? What if they never learned and all those hunters, angels, and friends still died?

“I would have stayed with you,” Adam says.

This future wasn't so terrible: four walls, a career, and more family with an interest in his life than he knew what to do with. He's losing a whole family of people he's just learning to care about and he feels guilty telling Michael now when they were coming up against the brick wall with no exit. This life isn't terrible at all, it's sort of amazing, and he doesn't want to lose it.

Michael just holds him close and his smile is forgiving.

“I would have been okay with that,” Michael says and presses his mouth to Adam's in a lingering kiss.

Dawn finds them hours later sitting side-by-side under that large pine tree, Adam dozing with his head on Michael’s shoulder.

Michael feels the spell’s tug on his power when Castiel goes back to those five years past. He shifts Adam closer against his side, pushes the hair back from his eyes when he murmurs in his sleep, and watches the day break.




Epilogue

They’re coming out the doors of a bar, celebrating the survival of their latest hunt, the first time Michael finds them.

Sam and Dean stop halfway down the stairs, alerted and wary of the stranger stalking across the dark gravel parking lot, because anyone who walked with that much intent to a place like this at such an hour of the night had a very specific mission in mind. But they don’t recognise him and they clear the mouth of the short stairs to give him a wide berth.

He’s just another face, unannounced, but Adam feels the wrench from something inside of himself before he even lays eyes on him.

It burns tight, twisting like a fist somewhere between his liver and his lungs. He freezes, stunned, and they realise too late that it’s Adam this guy is headed for.

Adam meets Michael’s glower only three paces away and his mouth goes dry.

He hears a gruff shout of warning (hey!) that sounds like Dean, but Michael doesn’t stop. Boots scuffle on gravel, Sam’s closest and he reaches for Adam out of the corner of his eye, an urgent babble of sound.

Adam doesn’t hear what his brothers say, because the shot rings out like an explosion and Michael goes down like a stone at the foot of the stairs.

Huh. He wasn’t such a bad shot after all.

Dean is shouting for Castiel somewhere by the parked cars. Adam’s boots are loud as he descends the stairs, gun still trained, and Sam comes up beside him with his own piece drawn.

“Adam. Adam, be careful,” Sam is saying, though he towers over both of them with his giant, reassuring shadow.

Michael groans, holding a hand to his wounded shoulder, and Adam just plants a boot on his chest, leaning with his weight, when the archangel tries to sit up.

Castiel appears at Adam’s shoulder with a light rush of wind. He glances from Adam’s face to the weapon he had put in Adam’s hands after Balthazar found him and Castiel scotch-taped the tears in his soul.

At that time, Castiel had pressed fingers to Adam’s temple and shared second-hand memories of another life that left Adam breathless, confused, and occasionally seeing double.

Frankly, those memories explained a lot about the shared looks and personal space between Dean and Castiel, the reason why Dean pushed Castiel behind him at the first sign of danger, though Dean was the more vulnerable to physical damage.

Adam had begged to have some of those images permanently erased. Castiel was strangely resistant to the idea of tampering with his memory at all.

“These clips hold a remoulded form of Michael’s sword,” Castiel said, pushing the gun with several spare rounds of ammunition across the table. No explanation of how it came into his possession. “The choice is yours, Adam. Peace is still an option, if you’ll help me fight for it.”

Confusion colours Michael’s eyes and Adam trains his gun at the space between them.

Just in case.

“Hey, babe,” Adam smirks, “You kept me waiting.”

- THE END -



Return to the MASTERPOST (Or) Continue to the timestamp: Genesis 1:31 (Michael/Adam, PG-13)

Date: 2011-07-15 03:48 pm (UTC)
meanheans: (Dean)
From: [personal profile] meanheans
That was a helluva story. I really loved seeing the archangels work like brothers and like the powerhouses they all were in their unique ways. I think, of everyone in here, you made me love Gabriel best. Cas' abrupt death was the worst part, mostly because I wasn't ready for that (for all his and Dean's mess was an off-panel story). This is a rarity and I thoroughly enjoyed getting engrossed in it, so thanks!

Date: 2011-07-15 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crispyc.livejournal.com
Can I just say that this was written so well and so beautiful that I loved every single thing about it? First of all it ripped at me when Cas died just a few moments after he cinfessed his love for Dean? I also came to love all of your characters especially Michael and Adam. This fic is actually my first Michael/Adam intro and I am sold! Thank you for writing this ugh it's so amazing I don't wanna leave!

Date: 2011-07-15 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nights-fang.livejournal.com
I want to leave this big wordy review gushig, quoting all the lines I love, and telling you exactly how much I love them, and why. But it's 1am here, I'm incoherent with glee, and I'd end up quoting the whole fic right back at you. I love how you managed to keep a sense of messed-up ness with Michael/Adam and yet make them fluffly. I love your Bobby. I love the Gabriel/Sam/Lucifer dynamic. I loved Dean and Cas's side story. I love Raphael and her bafness, and Balthazar, and just everything about this fic.

/booksmarks and save it forever to curl around happily.

Date: 2011-07-16 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whisp.livejournal.com
That was great! I'm so happy to see more about Adam's character. He really got the short end of the stick in the series. I love the storyline you came up with, it was very mind-bending and full of awesomeness. The Dean/Cas storyline was great too, I cried when Dean found out he was dead. Thanks for posting!

Date: 2011-07-16 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trollmela.livejournal.com
I think you killed me. This story was a wild ride and a fantastic one. I loved that you focused on Adam and the angels because that isn't something I've seen often. The conflicts between all of them were heartbreaking.

Thank you for this great story, I really enjoyed reading it.

Date: 2011-07-17 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pippin004.livejournal.com
This was...oh my god. Brilliant. Absolutely beautiful and very well written. I'm glad you wrote about Adam. You're right, he was just a plot device, and it's sad because he is a Winchester. His story deserves a resolution. He deserves to be released from hell. This story was amazing.

This was a very unique and special fic, and I just want you to know that it is definitely one of my favorites in the entire SPN fandom. I always love it when a fic makes me feel, and this story definitely made me a little emotional.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us.

Date: 2011-07-19 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalong-chan.livejournal.com
This is my first time reading a Michael/Adam fic, and I must say I really enjoyed this story!:D Adam deserves his own story! I couldn't stop reading it until I finished. I love the interactions between the brothers and the archangels, and I really love the Sam/Gabriel/Lucifer dynamics, makes me wanna read a fic with that pairing again. Is it too much to hope that you will write a spin-off or a sequel? Or maybe drabbles in the same 'verse?*puppy eyes* Thanks for writing this!

Date: 2011-07-20 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mulder200.livejournal.com
Wow! This was one hell of a ride! And I am so glad that you decided to write a story for Adam because he really deserved something in the end.

As for Dean and Cas? Oh man! These two just slay me. Castiel's death was a shock but I am glad the Archangels joined forces to give them both another chance. They need it!

And the Sam/Gabriel/Lucifer love triangle? Wow! Talk about complicated but at least they got it in the end.

As for Michael and Adam? Wow! Talk about serious ups and downs but I loved it and the epilogue was excellent!

Date: 2011-08-22 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therixkeycopy.livejournal.com
First off, hi! You don't know me, but I discovered and adored your fics shortly before I found out that you were writing a Big Bang about Adam (heee). I read this the day it was posted, but I haven't been able to review until now.

So!

Congrats on not being afraid to kill one of the main trio of the series 0.0 I honestly was not expecting Castiel's death, especially when he was so heavily involved in one of the peripheral romances that hadn't even been resolved a little at the time. It hit harder because of that and I loved it, it just came so out of left field.

But, of course, this fic was about Adam. Adam and the archangels and it was wonderful. I love how utterly confusing the story is at first. I did start off somewhat annoyed at how little information there was, but then I started to enjoy it when it echoed Adam's position so well. You're very good at eliciting an emotional response from your readers using techniques like going against every romantic plotline ever (Castiel's death) and the careful withholding of information at the beginning (for Adam).

I adore how you characterize the Archangels, by the way. Michael especially. He's not a bad guy, but he's not exactly good either. He's very...intense. Practical, but he has an ego. Caring, but heavy-handed. And Raphael. Ahhhh, I love her. I love her I love her I love her. Raphael's my favorite of the Archangels (in the fandom, at least, as there's not much in the actual show) so I adore when she's written into fics, and so well! Her relationship with Balthazar is one of my favorite points of this story (and pregnant! Lucifer and Michael's reactions were priceless).

Remembering that Gabriel is a meddling trickster ex-general Archangel is definitely worth points as well :) He's a joker, but he's also dangerous and scarily observant.

This was an awesome ending. There wasn't a point during this story where I was bored. You succeeded in snagging me by the scruff of the neck and setting me off at paragraph one (your opening "It ends with a bargain...It started with a jailbreak" is awesome playing the words and alternate meanings off of each other and out of order. What I was talking about when I said "snagged by the scruff of the neck". A great attention-getter.).

ADAM. There's so much to say about him. He's so snarky but also prone to observation; he cares so much about his mom, has a no-crap-taking policy that he enforces with no mercy, and manages to be the perfect blend of Sam and Dean while also being himself. His mother is amazing too, by the way. Their relationship is hilarious.

(Bobby's old-man-ness is both heartbreaking and awesome, by the way. Bobby steals the show wherever he goes, so I couldn't not mention him. His relationship with Michael is the best.)

The best part of this, however? The way everyone interacts with everyone else. There's so much thought put into it.

Sorry for the rambling. There are so many things I want to say about this story, but I think there are too many because I'm all over the place. I loved all of it so much. Thank you very much for writing :)

Date: 2011-09-19 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taraxacumoff.livejournal.com
It's a wonderful fic, sad, funny, angsty, with a lot of angels, my favorites people in the show, and a lot of Adam, the brother than the show forget. I just spend a wonderful afternoon reading you, many thanks!

Date: 2011-09-21 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etrix.livejournal.com
This was a truly wonderful exploration of some of the most maligned characters in Supernatural: the angels. (Not that they don't deserve it, most of the time, but still...) I like how you wove Sam/Lucifer and Adam/Michael's escape from the cage and subsequent linkage to each other in such a believable way. It made sense and it made for one helluva story.

I'm so glad Dean didn't take Crowley up on his offer. I know he probably did it because Luci makes Sam happy, but it was at least a kind of a sign that Dean's learning, finally, a little?

I'm bookmarking this one. =]

Date: 2011-09-24 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fae-boleyn.livejournal.com
Holy shit.

That... seems to be the first coherent thing in my mind, because this fic... Oh. Oh my God. This fic is utterly brilliant, I can't even find the words for it.

Date: 2011-11-03 08:37 pm (UTC)
ext_120093: (SPN Dean Squee by talulababy)
From: [identity profile] morganoconner.livejournal.com
So, funny story. Our power died for a week, and during that time, all I had was my laptop and whatever power the generator decided to grant me each day. In the course of searching for something, anything, to keep me from losing my mind, I discovered a few stories I had saved PDFs of to read months ago.

This was one of them.

When I say this story helped me keep my sanity, I'm not exaggerating. My focus on this was pretty much total for as long as I could make it last (three days, and that was pushing it. I never wanted to put it down!), and even after I'd finished, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I still can't.

This is one of the best things I think I've ever read, and that's not something I say lightly. The plot, the situations, the characters, the pairings…everything was so well thought out and put together flawlessly and made such perfect sense! It's been a long time since I got so wrapped up in something, and I loved – loved – every single second of it. And, God, as much as I want to know what happens next so much, it's still perfect as it stands. But as an FYI, if you ever decide to write more? I will be the first in line to devour it and shower you with praise and adoration. ;)

Thank you so much for writing this, and I'm only sorry it took me so long to read it. On the plus side, it was here right when I needed it most. ^_^

SO MUCH LOVE!!!


Date: 2011-11-19 07:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladylucifer13.livejournal.com
This....this is so perfect....Here is 4:35 in the morning I really wanted to read all the story before sleep...I simply couldn´t sleep without knowing the end of this....and now I can...

I really don´t have much words...I am sleepy and tired, but this story just made me cry and smile like a teeneger...so beautiful and complete, with all the pairings I love, with the right everything...just...I just love everything...An I love you for writting this! In fact I just love so much that I will make my sister read this, because she HAVE to read this awesomeness....

Gosh~ I falling sleep over the keyboard ;A;

I love you...I love this story..I love Adam and Michael together..I need more fics of this pairing....and...

That´s all...now I am going to sleep like there´s no tomorrow~

Kisses~

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